Many of us struggle with emotions and don’t admit it.
Right??
It’s in your head somewhere, but we don’t talk about it, we don’t think through it, and we certainly don’t process them in a way that makes us resourceful.
It seems that there’s lots of us who are unable to deal with emotions constructively in order to create the necessary changes in our lives. Negative emotions act as a weight that prevents us from moving forward a lot of the time. Sometimes, a negative emotion puts you into a point of making a decision, and depending on the way you make a choice, you can get ahead, or get into trouble.
photo credit: woodleywonderworks
This is the issue with negative emotions. Without confronting them and processing them, these feelings can eat us up and ambush us at certain points in our life. To learn how to deal with these negative emotions, you’ll need to learn some skills. Personally, to feel more resourceful, you could do with learning NLP.
However, feeling resourceful may not always help you to deal with obstacles that were already there. In which case you’ll need a way to be able to remove that obstacle.
Negative emotions often are not handled very well. Most of the time here’s how we deal with them.
- hide it,
- avoid it or run away,
- blame someone else for it
What is likely to happen is that these emotions pop up in times and places where you least expect it. I’ve had the experience of looking at clients who have sadness that completely engulfs them. Yes, there was an event that triggered it, but over time, they associate sadness with everything in their lives, which of course prevents you from getting a lot of things done. I’ve been surprised at how some people actually carry their negative emotions into their lives, but not surprised that they don’t have the necessary skills to handle them. I have a couple of suggestions for those of you who want to rid yourself of these negative feelings.
- Recognize that negative feelings can harm you further. It’s like wearing your shoes with glass in it. It’s not a pleasant feeling, especially for something that you can’t even identify. Hiding it won’t help, and once you recognize this, at least you can do something about it. If you’re cut, letting bleed by ignoring it is hardly the thing you want to do.
- Find a professional you can work with. I’ve realized that there are a lot of counsellors (counselors) and therapists in Singapore and even other parts of Asia who don’t work past a certain time (usually office hours). Some clients are also in need of more of a spiritual nature of healing, which a lot of counselors and therapists don’t do (usually you go to a religous leader in your organization for such forms of intervention). Some people think that looking for a therapist means that there is something wrong with them. Well, think of yourself as a person looking for the necessary healing that is appropriate for the wound you have sustained. That’s it.
- Stick with your routines. You’ll be tasked to do certain things over the time of your work with your therapist. I’d encourage you to stick with the relationship and do your best to get your homework and routines done so that you can be healed further.
Process the negative emotions, and find freedom in whatever you need to do!
Stuart Tan, MBA, SDCG, BA (Hons), is a Licensed NLP Trainer since 1997, a trained counselor and therapist since 1999, and a leadership, team performance and change management consultant. He certifies NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners through a competency based approach. He is also an executive coach and life coach.
Contact him for information about his corporate seminars, certification workshops and coaching services.