Here I continue from by previous post on the psychology of leadership. We delved into Problem #1 – The inability to listen.

Another major issue we have to explore in leadership is the ability for a person in power to be a people person.

photo credit: rftrudeau

Problem #2 – Not Being a People Person.

It doesn’t surprise me that a lot of leadership really is about building interpersonal skills and communication capabilities. Nor should it surprise you. Yet, most people think good leaders are those who are articulate.

(Some of the most articulate people I know use their tongue to destroy people rather than build them up.)

Generally those of us who are brought up in a technical environment may find it difficult to express ourselves well. It’s imperative to develop these skills of communication, but more importantly the ability to really bond and connect with others that sets apart good leaders from average ones.

Connection and Emotional Intelligence?

Conversely, a leader is supposed to know how to detect emotional fluxes, not just in oneself but in others as well. It’s a skill that can most definitely be learnt through various NLP strategies, but maintaining it requires practice. This ability to detect emotional differences allows you to initiate contact. If you know someone is down, you can now ask them about it and act as a guardian to help resolve this issue.

It is easy for someone to just say “do this” and expect people to do it. In this day and age, with the advancement of technology and the illusion of economic abundance (my opinion is everyone chases the economic dollar without considering the holistic impact on themselves and their family members, leading to scarcity rather than abundance), people demand more of others, but few demand more from themselves so that they can contribute to the well-being of others.

But why should this be an important factor in leading?

Well, the truth is leadership can be a thankless job. A leader has to acknowledge that no matter what kind of contribution he or she makes, it can easily be ignored or belittled. It is in times like these that the emotional reading and management ability for a leader comes in: to simply treat antagonists as little children who don’t really have the ability to appreciate what is being done, and do their best to educate and nurture the children no matter how rebellious they might be.

It comes back down to the individual leader to reflect upon the worth they have contributed to the world through their actions. Perhaps, the result may not be seen immediately, but the long-standing impact of someone who trusts in others, nurtures them and brings out the best in them is far more than just a job. It’s a calling, and leaders need to know that they touch the lives of people everyday.

“The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

~Colin Powell

Problems, problems, problems. It seems that people are obsessed with problems and don’t know how to solve them. They complain about the problem. In reality, as Colin Powell says, it is a way to build a positive relationship with those around you, in spite of the problems.

Surely problems can also be used in order to create bonding between people. Very often, the problems might also be you. If someone trusts you enough to tell you that you are causing the problem, stop looking so vainly at yourself. Sometimes, one has to look beyond the obvious and consider the intention behind what has been said. If you learn to hold the belief that every behavior has a positive intent, then it’s going to be easier for you to listen not just from the head, but also from the heart.
photo credit: US Army Africa